27 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, January 26, 2024

The chimps will win regardless
27 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, January 26, 2024

Despite biopic fatigue, Hollywood keeps pumping them out anyway. Fresh off his first Oscar nomination (ironically for a biopic), news broke that Colman Domingo would be hopping on board for not one but two more such films this year. The Rustin actor is set to play Joe Jackson in the upcoming Michael Jackson biopic while also starring in and directing a Nat King Cole biopic

Biopics aren’t inherently bad, but they typically end up becoming uninteresting vanity projects — unless they’re innovative in form or actually challenging their subject. That’s why Pharrell decided to build his life story brick by brick — Lego bricks that is. The prolific producer teamed up with the iconic buildable toy brand to share his journey Lego Movie style. The film, due out in October, was directed by Morgan Neville whose previous films covered the lives of Anthony Bourdain and Mr. Rogers. 

Just days after director Doug Liman announced that he was boycotting the South by Southwest premiere of his Road House remake due to Amazon’s decision to send the film straight to streaming, the movie’s first trailer dropped and provided a glimpse as to why the streamer likely bypassed a theatrical release. The modern reimagining of the ‘80s cult classic somehow replaces the irreplaceable Patrick Swayze with an insanely ripped Jake Gyllenhaal as an ex-UFC fighter turned bouncer in the Florida Keys. And just generally speaking, the glossy trailer seems at odds with everything that made the sleazy B movie original fun.

Thankfully, over on the timeline, big laughs are carrying us into the weekend. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a chicken sandwich that’s not suspicious at all, the power of Sydney Sweeney and a questionable ranking of famous Kevins. 

xanath.fm @xanathgum 22h ... if anyone out there is feeling depressed feeling bad or sick or whatever i just want you to know that i feel pretty good 5 1,972 14K 418K
mel @lemonadeblunts-1 17h ... *packing the bong* ok who wants to say grace 17 2,965 17.5K 406K
Charlie James @nonbinaryco... 15h ... oh no it's happening again (googling graduate school, cutting my own hair, cleaning up my linkedin profile, feeling weird at night, looking into CBD, buying a planner, looking at photos of my parents at 26, thinking about wearing a hat, taking the enneagram quiz) 31 3,090 29.5K del 816K
swag 900 @ecco401k.1d they should give you AirPods when you're born 17 1,232 17K 484K
harpy cables @halospit 15h r u mad at me  no sweetie ofc noti could never b mad at my perfect angel. however u did ask the forbidden question& that means 3 hours in The Device 22 2,322 15.6K 312K
hb @h3xenbrenner2-23h There should be a machine at the gym that simulates a chimp attack. So you can train for that eventuality 113 5,473 57.3K 2.3M
krismadarame @krismadarame -1 1d ... Forgetting something? baby d @deaz1a 4d February is such a cute month, just hearts and pink 262 16.1K 127K 5.8M
Thee's Strongest Soldier @EisakuOtomo 1d Ordered my own set of wings for maximum immersion Thee's Strongest Soldier @EisakuOtomo 1d Incredible birthday so far... MILDER ORIGINAL LA HOT LUCE AIN ONES 20:07 Sydney Sweeney Endures a Nightmare ... While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Ones First We Feast 10K views 15 minutes ago 667K 26 620 12K
Von @vsvonn1 1d My sister annoying af bra Send me $7 on her ima send it right back ? Cash $7 Delivered Goodlooking I'm not sending it back iMessage Cash W R T Y U o E I Q P S D F G K A H J L 242 1.3K 28K 725K
James @exhaustdata 1d ... Just learned that Renato Bialetti, the Italian businessman whose company manufactures the Moka Express, had his ashes interred in a giant one when he died 24 767 7.7K 402K
bilatinman kio @kzzrttt. 20h shrimp emoji... you can rest easy now.... SHUB Apple Hub @theapplehub . 23h New emoji coming in iOS 17.4! Which one is your favorite? 80 1.2K 43K 2.7M
molly @guacamolz 1d all i want in this life is to be stopped by one of those youtubers who come up to you in a store and tell you that everything you can grab in 30 seconds is yours because i have the whole strategy planned 21 2.4K 17K 381K
Bryan @btcjanai 17h ... And what about it ? nari @amournarii - 1 1d ex fckin scuse me ????? = ... Bryan added you to their List People to Rob 780 5K 74K 2.7M
bailey moon @Baileymoon15 19h ... john cusack liking my tweet about blacking out on mojitos is almost as funny as when we matched on raya 6 years ago and i got banned for messaging him too much 22 46 3.8K 386K
Kevin Durant @KDTrey5 1d No disrespect but federline over me is nasty Eddie Gonzalez @bansky - 1d Hmmm. Great question. Kevin bacon. Kevin McAllister Kevin federline... 1.3K 6K 72K 7.7M
BASED SAVAGE @crackcobain_ . 16h DALT You tweeting like you need somewhere to stay tonight Flvcko @grimreaper288 1d We eating pssy,paying for wigs, rubbing feet, cooking at 3am &&&& WE SHUTTING TF UP n LISTENING all 2024!! !! 79 1.8K 12K 618K
wares @wareswareswares. 15h Until someone makes a bigger mac Dexerto @Dexerto. 1d McDonald's is releasing a Double Big Mac Y 10 798 16K 1M
#endfoamlessness @catmariosimp 1d to some, this is a blessing. perspective is everything tippity @tippity. 1d this cant be my life right now OFFICIAL PIZZA SPONSOR OF SUPER BOWL LVIII Little Caesars & the INSTANT PERKSI Order Online 157 4K 56K 2.5M
dan jones @danielwjones_ 1d Bro tell me why I can't get my son to just be still for any show but we are watching the Sydney Sweeney hot ones episode and this boy is locked in FIRST WE FEAST 704 9.4K 15M 138K
bongo @bongoism. 1d ... type shit i'm on 29 41K 1.1M 5.3K
Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog 17h when I was in college and really didn't know how to cook used to just marinate whole chicken wings in nothing but Lea & Perrin's Worcestershire sauce then bake them and it would turn out so good and simple I sometimes still miss it. they would look like this out of the oven: 572 14K 690K 43
david ehrlich @davidehrlich . 1 17h ... another day working at the multiplex. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the Dune 2 popcorn bucket. buddy, this is an AMC, of course you can fuck the popcorn bucket. DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm. 19h The popcorn bucket for 'DUNE 2'. (via: @3CFilmss) U PART EN SALLE TWO n REULEMENT 52 2.9K 36K 2.7M
Archangel of Digital Hyperstition @clown_de... 20h ... by the way, when potatoes invented hashbrowns they did it becuase they loved mankind and wanted us to be happy, just like jesus. potatoes is like jesus to me. 38 3.6K 28K 493K
phosphor glow @phosphor_glow 1d for me, it is the sandwich that tastes like sandwich with chicken. it is the best fast food sandwich. SANDWICH THAT TASTES LIKE PACK SANDWICH S WHITH CHICKEN DATE BY 09.08.21 000001 PRICE PER LB NET WT. LBS. 1 pcs TOTAL PRICE $ 6.49 020000+ 200490 VILLAGE MARKET LEDYARD CT 06339 1.7K 48K 21 152
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit· 21h Must have been hard to thank them afterward Pop Base @PopBase • 1d Austin Butler reveals he hired a dialect coach to help him get rid of his Elvis accent. 372 6.9K 135K del 9.7M
JP @JaidaPop 23h Perhaps the fine china then? Erinnnnn @Echanel__2d Serving yo man food on a paper plate kinda crazy. 27 3.1K 25K 853K
toni @toniyayo__ 1d not the salmon having an MRI Tebogo Rams @Iamvince_r. 1 1d Medium salmon for a Limpopo boy like me makes the heart pump custard. 394 24K 216K 7.8M


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