20 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, January 17, 2024

The optometrist’s office is a battlefield
20 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Looks like one White Lotus MVP found their next island getaway and is trading in “evil gays” for 10-year-olds with unfettered access to their parents’ credit card. Fresh off a second Emmy win for her portrayal of Tanya McQuoid, Deadline announced that Jennifer Coolidge is the latest addition to the cast of the live-action Minecraft adaptation. While plot details around the Warner Bros. production have yet to be unlocked, Coolidge joins Jason Momoa, Jack Black and Danielle Brooks in a film the studio hopes will replicate the successes of The Super Mario Bros. Movie and Barbie

Over on Peacock, we might be in for some more playtime with one very foul-mouthed, not-so-little teddy bear. No, not Nick Offerman but a pint-sized, binge-drinking, chain-smoking stuffie from the mind of Seth MacFarlane. Peacock’s prequel series Ted tracks the origins of the sentient plushie, exploring the horrifying world of eastern Massachusetts 20 years before the events of the original 2012 film. Outlets are already asking MacFarlane and showrunners Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh about the future of the series, which they’ve left up to “audience appetite.” 

If that’s the case, they better get to the lab and start cooking, because the show just became the streamer’s most-watched original title to date.

Meanwhile, the Twitter timeline has offered us a new burst of laughter to carry us through the back half of the week. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the world’s most refreshing drink, a name that just fits and the divine intervention the New York Jets need.

miss hawai'i @berlinblackout 20h ... A dj on the local college radio station was like I found a bunch of my dad's old cds and made a mix for today and played the shins, the pixies, modest mouse, death cab, postal service and the strokes 269 3,540 52.3K 2.4M
Reconstructionist @un_a_valea... 1d ... what the hell was Ryan Gosling's childhood inspired to become an actor.  Не hated being a child,  was bullied in elementary school,  and had no friends until he was 14 or 15.  In grade one, having been heavily influenced by the action film First Blood, he took steak knives to school and threw them at other children during recess. This incident led to a suspension.  Не was unable to read,  265 56.7K del 2M 3,867
( @444haztyz . 1d i like being single but come on not everyday 39 8,409 52.5K 1.3M
invader zim @f8the 1d ... picking out new glasses frames is harder than going to war 275 30K 158K 5.3M
The Nostalgia Queen @Snow... 1d ... Не look like he party all the time party all the time party all the timeeeee 21 @21metgala 1d Tyler James Williams attends the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards. UXEUXPUARUAL S S EM EM OXFOY OFFOX EMMYS MYS OXF FOX YS EM OXF FOX MYS EMMYS F XFOX OXFO EM M E YS 158 1,820 12.2K 858K
dani @snookicore.22h u da kind of hater she tryna keep calm and ignore ! d3 @d_andraaaa. 1 1d we passed this era baby KEEP CALM AND IGNORE THE HATERS 2 19K 5 693 430K
Grosdoriane @Grosdoriane 18h Me eating during the day: oatmeal with berries and flax seed, whole grains, baked tofu, a cruciferous salad, beans, steamed vegetables Me as soon as the clock hits 10pm: La the 3 33 937 30K
queen of the rodeo @cancerkidkiller 1d I ordered a coke from the indian restaurant down the street and I dunno what I expected but it wasn't this 5.6K 521 188K 7.2M
Zach Raffio @zachraffio . 16h His parents really nailed it when they named him Walton Goggins. Like... that's Walton Goggins alright 115 2.4K 50K 2.1M
mrs. glock @mylovedes2. 1d why he smiling like he got a secret he refuses to share? 21 @21metgala. 1d Tyler James Williams attends the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards. UXFUNPUXRUN S EM S EM OXFOX OFFOX EMMYS MYS OXF FOX YS EM OXFO FOX MYS EMMYS F XFOX OXFO EM M E YS 376 3.9K 64K 2.6M
fraser ramon @SteveMerkle9.23h Не has the face of an offensive coordinator Cindy Wooden @Cindy_Wooden . 2d #PopeFrancis: This isn't dogma, just my thought: I like to think of hell as being empty. I hope it is. 8 4K 250K 140
SITA @raspberhrriies - 2 20h I'M GONNA GREG, NOOOO! let it linger 20 3.1K 18K 342K
Will Sennett @Senn_Spud . 18h ... true detective season 1 was so good because all of it was written by a guy that was taking a bunch of Creatine and doing preacher curls with 85s. And we will never see that again 35 560 9.2K 748K
jos @josiahhughes . 21h that show was called the West Wing because it was so intwestwing 33 1.1K 21K 960K
Omi /costurera de barrio @G0thCrocs 22h Coquette this, coquette that, how about you goguette a job 12 870 3.6K 75K
Jenna SaysQuoi @jennasaysquoi • 17h going the extra mile (missing my exit) 12 1.3K 7.6K 208K
adda @blankdog__ 16h i was gonna say something like why is his nose so fucking stupid but then i remembered my heart is kind 19 1,471 15.1K 246K
tyro @tyro1k 16h what if we kissed in the caniac corner 2000 O Cane's 8 CANIAC CORNER СОКИЕ DO 75 3,103 28.5K 948K
carter hambley @carterhambl... 22h ... if u put something in ur pocket in a dream u should get to take that back with you 12 181 2,256 del 70.9K
richard @richard_normal.2h richard @richard_normal you should basically never start working until at least 10:30am. you should also start wrapping things up for the day around 3pm. and we musn't forget about the traditional hour lunch. 9:26 AM 6/9/23 From Earth 8.2M Views dont let me get bangs agai... 2d 30+ folks, what is your best piece of professional advice? 17 1,067 11.2K 363K
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