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33 Blistering Hot Movie Takes to Warm Your Frigid Little Heart Through the Long Winter

Hot takes roasting on an open fire

33 Blistering Hot Movie Takes to Warm Your Frigid Little Heart Through the Long Winter

January 07, 2024

We asked our readers to unleash their most unpopular movie opinions upon the world, and they delivered. If you didn’t already have an opinion on 1994’s live-action Jungle Book, you will in a couple of minutes.

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TELL US NOW. ... The Tom Holland Spider-Man is the best, according to Cody M. It's when Marvel got it right. They didn't bother with the origin story we already knew and cast people who at least looked age-appropriate. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Laurie H. says it's a shame Disney buries the '94 live-action Jungle Book. I'll take a sexy Mowgli played by Jason Scott Lee fighting against the colonizing British military, represented perfectly by Cary Elwes in his prime, any day. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Bartholomew F. recommends skipping the original Battlestar. Не says it's dated, predictable, and bordering on the unwatchable, even for nostalgia, and notes that it killed the franchise for a long, long time. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Nikki G. prefers the made-for-TV Shining to the theatrical version. I feel that Steven Weber was much more believable as a man who became possessed by the hotel. Jack Nicholson appeared a bit crazy from the onset and the transformation was lackluster. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Bob W. says the 2004 Dawn of the Dead makes the classic look hack. It's a truly realistic take, with the confusion, the claustrophobic feel, the beaten down characters who really weren't looking for WHY this was happening but rather simply how to survive. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Christopher С. says Jeff Goldblum's fly leaves Vincent Price's in the dust. Не credits David Cronenberg. Better screenplay, better direction, more genuinely emotional and frightening. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

The Nutty Professor

TELL US NOW. ... David с. says the '90s Nutty Professor was the perfect remake. They updated the '50s white movie into a '90s urban comedy. Waaaaay better. And I love Jerry Lewis, but Eddie knocked it out of the park. CRACKED.COM

26

TELL US NOW. ... Sorry, Sly. Brian W. says the 2012 Dredd remake kicks the original's ass. It perfectly captured the ultra-violent nature of the comic book and how strict adherence to law can be as evil as lawlessness. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. ... The anal sex scene in Kingsman: Secret Service was cringe-worthy. It's probably meant to subvert some spy movie tropes, but it comes off as weird and tacked-on, for Anna H. It just felt so out of place and out of step with the rest of the otherwise amazing film. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

TELL US NOW. ... Wow, that Martha scene in Batman v. Superman was a disaster. Where Bruce and Clark instantly bond over their mothers' shared first name? Chris L. calls it The one crap scene to top them all. No movie moment has ever made me cringe as hard. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Davis В. says the dog costume scene in The Shining was pointless. Не calls it random furry porn with no context. Yes, it was in the book, but without any sort of setup, the scene was very much inserted into the movie like a donut into a CD drive. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... The volleyball scene in Top Gun had Jeff M. checking his watch even more than Maverick. Не says it could've easily been replaced with 5 additional minutes of Tomcats doing badass shit. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Ryan А. wishes Once Upon A Time In Hollywood had ended differently. Chalk it up to Tarantino, he says. Loved the movie, but QT had to have his excessive violent ending, which totally ruined a really good movie. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... The curb-stomp scene in American History X is too much for Ryan В. Не calls it a great movie that I could never watch a second time because of the curb-stomping scene. May not be a bad scene but it causes me to run my tongue over my teeth to make sure they're OK whenever I think about it. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. ... Why did It: Chapter One make us watch the bathroom being cleaned? Matt В. says it's an incredible movie, but the bloody bathroom cleanup with a pop '80s backdrop is tonally and thematically out of left field. The scene had just been one of Beverly's most traumatic moments, but now it's played off as lighthearted summer fun. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Chad P. and Paul В. agree: Buckaroo Banzai should be a series. It's a team of colorful characters, led by a genius dimension-hopping brain surgeon, that doesn't take itself seriously. And they have a band. Picture them traveling the globe tackling an adventure or monster per episode. Hey, is Jeff Goldblum available? CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Patrick P. is ready for a Better Off Dead series. I don't know if it would have to take place in the '80s or make it current, but you could make a legitimately funny take on the anxieties of society while tackling serious issues. Also, the cartoons as segues would be great. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Adam N. would love to see a series based on Ringu/The Ring. The movies are great, but the novels dig way, way deeper, he says. There's a lot of really interesting ideas and storylines in the books that the movies have barely touched on. Heck, at times the books are more sci-fi than horror. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Most of the X-Men movies would work much better as series. Brad S. points out that there's way too much plot to fit into a 2-hour movie, and a series would be the perfect way to pace them. Plus, more characters than JUST Wolverine could be developed and viewers might actually care about what happens to them. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... The Fifth Element should be the next big sci-fi series. MULTI PASS BJ H. has a fairly brilliant suggestion for bringing the rich, bizarre Fifth Element universe to the small screen: Have the writers of Rick & Morty consult on building the various alien worlds. CRACKED.COM — Source

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

TELL US NOW. ... Alex P. thinks a series could save Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. God I wanted that movie to be good so badly! It was beautiful, original, the setting was fantastic, it would have been so cool! The problem was the braindead script and the fact they hired a pair of wooden mannequins as the main characters. But do a series, and all will be forgiven. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Grant В. says we need a series based on Fury Road, right now. Picture it: A giant post-apocalyptic world with crazy characters and lots of action. (So, 2020, but with cooler vehicles.) CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Eragon was a terrible movie. But picture it as a fantasy epic TV show. Jason L. is sure that, if it were given the Daredevil or Game of Thrones treatment, Eragon could be an absolutely amazing show. And who isn't ready for some more dragon lore? CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... CK В. says the '70s-'80s Superman flicks are P overrated. The Christopher Reeve Superman films are objectively only so-so, and wouldn't be so revered if it weren't for the excellent effects and Reeve himself. CRACKED.COM — Source

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... TELL US NOW. Christian W. says Heath Ledger's Joker P made no sense. Не was an anarchistic psychopath, but didn't seem to take any kind of joy in what he was doing or think it was funny. B4 CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Allan W. says the girl power in Avengers Endgame was weak tea. If you want to empower your female characters, give them powerful roles and put them front and center, don't just give them a single moment and go back to focusing on R4 the men. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Kenton А. says Black Widow is more feminist than Captain Marvel. She has no superpowers and a minimum amount of gadgets. She has leadership abilities and holds her own against villains with superpowers. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Mark T. says we need B to toss all the DC P movies and start over. They're pretty much crap. They would do much better to let the creators of their Animated universe run the DCEU, as their track record is so much better. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... DC с. says superhero movies should always be period pieces. Batman in the low-tech '40s, the Fantastic Four in the jet-age '60s, etc. Taking the characters out of their original timelines and into the modern era ruins them, he says. CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Paul T. says Thanos wasn't DANG! a bad guy. P Не saw a legitimate issue that nobody would address, and was fair and just in his solution (as 'extreme' as it may be). Не explains that Thanos took 50% of everyone regardless of standing or allegiance - even his own followers. R4 CRACKED.COM — Source

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TELL US NOW. ... Marty M. says the Joaquin Phoenix Joker movie was a total ripoff. That whole movie was too much of a ripoff of Taxi Driver and King Of Comedy for me to enjoy. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

TELL US NOW. ... Tony H. says Jesse Eisenberg is the best P Lex Luthor. His portrayal was the closest to the true version of the character on the big screen. Instead of being a real estate mogul inconvenienced by Superman, he hates the very notion of him. CRACKED.COM — Source

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