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25 Toys That Might Violate the Geneva Convention

Matador Barbie for Susie… Check! A butcher play set for Johnny… Check!

25 Toys That Might Violate the Geneva Convention

December 25, 2023

In the name of investigative journalism, we looked over every wish list of every child up at the North Pole. Santa got a little pissy, but we just told him to go help the elves for once in his life. As we suspected, not a single one of these abominations was on them. Hey, we just wanted to be sure.

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25

Product Recalls CSI Fingerprint Examination Toy Kit The Asbestos Disease Awareness Organization did a study in 2007 and found out that the hit had asbestos in it. That's not something you want anywhere, let alone in a toy for kids, so the kit was recalled. AGES 10+ CSI: ADULT SUPERVISION RECOMMENDED WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD Jomal parts Not for - - 3 yours CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION WARNING: FINGERPRINT - - - e EXAMINATION KIT - - - USE FINGERPRINT BRUSH COLLECT TO GUST EXAMINE, REAL D RECORD PRINTS FINGERPRINTS WITH CHISSON'S CSI TEAM CSI: un nar VAO Done Always F HAND CRIME — Source

24

Product Recalls Sky Dancers In 2000, Galoob Toys Inc. recalled 8.9 million Sky Dancers flying dolls due to reports of 150 injuries, including eye injuries, broken teeth, a mild concussion, a broken rib, and facial lacerations. CRACKED — Source

23

Product Recalls Midge doll In 2002, Walmart stopped selling the Mattel Happy Family set, which had a pregnant Midge doll wearing a it's a girl! pink skirt and a removable stomach with a baby inside. Mom loves newbo baby ppy famile Mom & Baby CRACKED — Source

22

Popeye Metal Tapping Set

POPEYE METAL TAPPING SET CARLTON DANK METAL TAPPING POPEYE SET ARF! ARF! COMPLETE with - CRACKED.COM DECORATIVE FRAMES for BOYS A GIRLS TAPPING TOOLS AGES INSTRUCTIONS 4to 8 Why create art with paint and paper when you can chisel it into a sharp sliver of tin? — Source

21

SIXFINGER SIXFINGE THE MOST AMAZING TOY EVERY IT LOOKS LIKE A FINGER BUT IT DOES ALL THIS: CRACKED.COM 1.SHOOTS CAP BOMB GOS g : - f - - 3 نية I I For Party - - - - to - - It looks like a finger? Sure, if fingers had testicles. — Source

20

BUTCHER PLAYSET GRACKED.COM The trouble started when Jeffrey asked if we could pretend to disembowl a hog. — Source

19

WIND-UP FLOOR BUFFER GEE WHIZ, IT WORKS! Wind-up R por Buffer World's Smallest Wind и and Running Appliance polishers spin around Switch turns Authentic details it off and on Needs DO battery Control Since Ports galoob Not P chickenunder 3 CRACKED.COM Honey, when you're finished 'playing' in the kitchen, be a dear and do the foyer. — Source

18

KRIMSON TERROR the EDIDUERG line CRACKED.COM KRIMSON TORROR PLANNIC MONSTER CONSTRUCTION KIT The make-your-own monster with the three-handed crotch. — Source

17

LAVERNE & SHIRLEY SECRETARY SET GAITION to - - - I man 12 kg 79e HARRONY - You Laverno TV SERIES Shirley TM secretary set - 12345678 ANIZEEEE for CRACKED.COM 1/11/11 - - - AA UNE PERFORM - NOLLOS NY THAT MADE - NONG KONG Laverne and Shirley worked at a brewery, which would have made an infinitely more fun play set. — Source

16

MY PUPPY PUDDLES ROMPER ROOM My Puppy PUDDLES Squeeze PUDDLES' collar & make him drink his water. Sit him on his training troy. My Puppy PUDDLES only puddles where he oughtal CRACKED.COM My Puppy PUDDLES only puddles in his training trou. Ranked number one among toys with bladder infections. — Source

15

PINKY LEE MEDICINE CHEST BAND-AD - - IVORY. Pinky Lee TOY medicine CHORAGNED.COM THE GOOD HABIT TOY Learn Pinky Lee's secret shames, then refill all the good prescriptions. — Source

14

THE MISSILES LAUNCHED BY THIS BATTLESTAR GALACTICA TOY ACTUALLY PROVED DEADLY TO KIDS. The launcher caused ripped intestines, eye injuries, and one death when a missile lodged in a child's esophagus. They were recalled in 1979. SCARAB CRACKED.COM http://resources.lawinfo.com/personal-injury/products-liability/ — Source

13

THE SNOOPY G PLUCE SOKY AM AAA THE ORIGINAL Snoopy SNO-CONE Sno-cone Machine MACHINE MAKE A SNOOPY TASTY TREAT CONTAINS A WITH ICE CUBES & FLAVOR PACK! LOOSE BRASS RIVET WARNING: CHOCKNG - NET WT 50 OZ (4.77g) THAT CAN CAUTION 400 NCOM HAPPINE them - - DROP INTO THE SNOW CONES. It's been recalled. GRACKED.COM http://www toysnusinc com/safety/recalls/snoopy-sno-cone-machine/ — Source

12

25 Toys That Might Violate the Geneva Convention — Source

11

25 Toys That Might Violate the Geneva Convention — Source

10

UP MY SKIRT, YOU MUST LOOK, TO SEE YOUR FUTURE. Ages 4 and up No. 69370 STAR THE EMPIRE YODA STRIKES BACK THE JEDI MASTER. WARS Kenner CERTAIN - CANNOT BE HE ANSWERS ALL YOUR Kenner QUESTIONS! - - - - -- - يت It's the Yoda Magic 8-Ball, complete with mangled grammar. We assume the most-asked question is why? CRACKED.COM http://www.dallasvintagetoys.com/1981kennerstarwarsesbyodamagic8balfortunetellerwbox.aspx — Source

9

PARENTS RECENTLY PETITIONED TOYS R US TO PULL THE BREAKING BAD ACTION FIGURES FROM THEIR SHELVES. WARNING: Ages CHOKING HAZARD The Walter White 15+ MY didas figure comes with a 35 gun, a bag of cash, and Br eaking 56 a baggie full of meth*. Bad TOY FAIR NY 14 EXCLUSIVE Not actual meth. an actual gun or actual cash Walter White Collection Figure Toys R Us no longer sells them. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE ROBS A 7-ELEVEN WITH MEGATRON CRACKED.COM — Source

7

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

In 1992 we saw our fun loving pal Michelangelo turn into an angry mexican stereotype. In an effort to pack even more racism into the Wacky Wild West line, Playmates included Chief Leo. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

PUPPY SURPRISE teaching the wonders of dog whelping! 'How many puppies are there inside? There could be 3! Or 4! Or 5!?' GRACKED.COM — Source

5

JOSE EAND UP BOOKS NEDRY Trang-Spray Gon & Dine-Damage Arm! JURASSIC PARK MOVIE COLLECTION - - CARD NEDRY ACTION FIGURE WARNING - - THE LIKENESS IS UNCANNY! GRAGKED.COM — Source

4

Well, GI Joe is We need an selling like idea for a hotcakes... new toy! GIJOE + FOOD FIGHTERS CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Collected Olé! Fun: Reinforcing Ethnic Stereotypes SPANISH While Glamorizing Barbie Animal Cruelty. 20 MADE DONOR or been CRACKED COM — Source

2

GRACKED.COM aus de This is the new version CROCODIS of SAMPLE - DAMING DENTISTR WHAT DID IT Look LIKE BEFORE? I feed on the Thumbs of Children — Source

1

CRACKED.COM FORAGES 5 & OVER BOGLINS OUTRAGEOUS CREATURES THAT COME ALIVE IN YOUR HANDS! Flesh-like texture Eyes that move Looks like aborted troll fetus ONLY! DON'T POKE WARE: GERSTHROUGH BARS! 20 years of nightmares NDLE THROUGH BOTTO MATTEL DWORK — Source

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