23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of December 11, 2023

She knew when to give up
23 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of December 11, 2023

It’s been the longest week in the history of time, and there was a surplus of news to prove it. 2023’s best movies and television shows started their final lap with this year’s slate of Golden Globe nominations. The nominees were full of expected dominant forces and glaring snubs. But the biggest thing that was missing? A host. Chris Rock and Ali Wong were offered the gig but declined in favor of sitting back in the crowd as nominees instead. 

In heartbreaking news, we lost the heart and soul of Brooklyn’s 99th precinct as Andre Braugher passed away after a brief battle with lung cancer. Of course, he was remarkable in weightier roles in Glory and Homicide: Life on the Street, but it’s hard to not always also remember the deadpan joy he brought as Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Between this week’s highs and lows, we’ve had some funny tweets to lift our spirits and keep us going. The funniest include those about a nepo baby with the spirit of a mall manager, the Academy’s blatant Irish discrimination and the hands only a serial killer could love. 

helena @freshhel 16h I would not hook up with the grinch buti would feel good if i i found that he wanted hook up with me 20 690 7,855 173K
joe stokowski @JoeStokowski· 15h ... unsubbed all my OFs to buy wife airpods for her podcasts, wife unsubbed all her podcast patreons to afford a fifth monitor for my goon cave 27 903 9,796 255K
FALL4NUN @gokraxxy12.12h ... this why i don't get in my sister car nomo she just drove off and left her bumper 631 3,775 42.5K 1.5M
Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer.2 2h id be murdering people too if my shit looked like this @fasc1nate.20h Fascinating The hands of German serial killer Fritz Honka 11 67 2.2K del 114K
Dyaln @DylanDern 18h ... Neeeeed to hear her say LCD Soundsystem 7.7K 376K 11 442
Kevin Jacobsen @Kevin_Jacobsen· 1d Academy voters watching Atonement, Brooklyn, Lady Bird, and Little Women MAYHEM Bryn, Muppet Enthusiast @dgtia958. 1d Replying to @AdriCaporusso Let him cook VARIETY Should we be giving Oscars to the Irish? 1.6K 3 109 95K
gregory house enthusiast @transcowboy 1d ... WEIRD VAL 3: @autismpills 1d STOP romanticizing autism and START sexualizing it! 175 1K 27K
Moth @m0thflower. 17h This is taking me out I'm in tears Bunnyartz @BunnyArtz2 5h What fandom is this from btw looks cool Wolfy @WolfyTheWitch - 5h carpenter's boy 1 178 del 7,061 Wolfy @WolfyTheWitch -4 4h The bible 1 3 452 4,728 75 5.3K 55K 573K
prezoh @prezoh . 14h if i were lois id kms from this image being spread around 76K 16 125 4.2K
jos @josiahhughes 13h if you are an empath or an old soul you will likely find this image very powerful 16 156 2.3K 78K
garshmo @garshmo . 12h 12 232 1.9K 187K
megan @chismosavirus - 18h how can u be so sure it belonged to women.? ik Grog and Thag got freaky too Ozor Ndi Ozor @eemmanuels4.1 1d Replying to @historyinmemes These Cavewomen dildos were found during a cave excavation in Germany. At 28,000 years old, they are believed to be the oldest sex toys. 53 72K 5.2K 2.4M
arianna @virtualjew 1d bought a used book online and opened the first page to discover a treasure THE WEB THAT HAS NO WEAVER Understanding Chinese Medicine CENTURY AUDITORIUM BARGAIN 07 BG THEATRES. SHREK THE THIRD 05:35 PM Fri 05/25 Century Oakridge 20 Don't Wait In Line. Buy Your Tickets Online At FANDANGO .COM $7.75 MC Jose 078078011449905305455001 05/25 05:33 PM 7 114 5.1K 111K
m. kordei @maloo5hka.1d IF THE CLOCK STILL SAYS A.M., PLEASE CONTINUE TO SERVE BREAKFAST 0:03 From reaction videos 76 8.9K 73K 1.4M
John Wascavage @JohnWascavage - 1 1d I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is meep 6 103 1.7K 122K
Kiana @st_vampyre.23h ... So, where's the lucky wife? Chant God @chantgod . 3d What's craziest thing a man has ever said to you while trying to flirt? 266 1.7K 40K
Schiggys @crystlabndce 1d ... Improvise, adapt, overcome 140 30K 1.1M 5.6K
jesse (they/them) @crazyshove... 2d ... some of yall afraid to be corny but i was born on the cob 43 7,473 24.8K del 1M
no context memes @weird... 18h ... I fw santa fr. Не Stay out the way, loves his lady, and put his whole team onto some money. Kind to animals too. Really just staying lowkey and running up that sack once a year. Bringing joy to others type sh!. Cut from a different cloth fr. 100 + 70.4K ... 554 12 782 7,422 475K
h @houseofhazel. 1d if Hailey bieber wasn't a перо girl I feel like she'd manage the fuck out of an aritzia 29 2,191 48.5K del 1.1M
kenzi @kenzianidiot. 1d ... me adding wet food to my dog's dry food because he feels comfortable complaining despite being literally on sale at the humane society 114 3,985 78.1K 3.1M
princess jiang @70s90s 1d my friends cat turned 9 yesterday 20 1,340 21.2K 503K
gay fieri @papa_talisa 1d 5 gallons of pickles at 11 pm in south philly Schedules PRIORITY SEATING for Persons with Disabilites & Seniors Yield These Seats DELI PICKLES GALLONS - KEEP KAPLAN REFRIGERAT - CAMP 77 977 9,030 1.3M
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