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35 Big-Time Brand Fails and Embarrassments

Try Schweppes’ refreshing toilet water. Tonic water! We meant tonic water! Oh god!

November 09, 2023

To all you up-and-coming business owners out there: Get back to work!

Just kidding. If you’re going to be your own boss, you have to be a nice boss who lets yourself unwind with some fun facts. And hey, they’re business-related, so it’s pertinent information! You can learn about what not to do from these brand blunders, and you’ll walk away knowing that proper translations and hashtags are incredibly important.

35

The soaps produced by Iranian company Paxan Co. ironically carry a name that labels them as packaged filth. New Automatic Color - I I - Bust New - - Bar - - - ... Detergent Powe S Barf Automatic Barf Automatic Powder Organic - - - . Detergent Awair State Saving colors Ultimate Clea Brigh E 900 g 1991 a Enghi Station 450 In an effort to translate a Farsi word that should mean Snow into English, the company somehow messed up, resulting in the sale of Barf soap. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

Clairol introduced their curling iron to the German market by describing it, literally, as a hot pile of cow dung. 9 LIGHT BLONDE BLOND CLAIR CLAIROL NEW NO YORK AMMONIA, ce ADDED PARABENS HEALTHY LOOKING The product was sold under its English name Mist Stick but the company didn't do enough research to realize that mist in German means manure. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Parker Pen was trying hard to avoid embarrassing their Mexican clients when they ended up embarrassing themselves. P PARKER EST. 1888 HAND They wrongly converted their slogan, It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you, into Spanish as, It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

Ford took its Pinto model over to Brazil without knowing it announced a trait that many would rather keep hidden. Ford You see, the word Pinto might have sounded just fine to English- speaking buyers, but when translated to Brazilian-Portuguese, it means Small penis. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

30

During 2016's Chinese New Year, Nike offended its Chinese customers with special-edition Air Force 1 shoes. 78 NIKEiD They had printed Fa on one shoe and Fu on the other (in Chinese). These two words are blessings when separated but they mean Get fat when used together. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

When KFC first moved to China, it must have curbed appetites by accidentally promoting self-cannibalism. KFC the adidas REAL In an attempt to translate their signature catchphrase Finger- lickin' good, some misused Chinese characters had them saying, Eat your fingers off. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Frank Perdue often appeared in his Perdue ads with the tag line, It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken. PERDUE. Unfortunately, his love for chicken was terribly misconstrued when a Spanish ad read It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

McDonald's flamin' hot Fitbit if STEP-iT CRACKED.COM Step-Its were little Happy Meal pedometers that started giving kids mysterious burns, blisters, and rashes. McD's had to recall over 30 million units. — Source

26

Krispy Kreme (accidentally) supports the Klan COLOURING LUESDAY 18th February, 12:00pm - 5.00pm KKK WEDNESDAY CRACKED.COM In 2015, a Krispy Kreme location in the UK planned a week of fun family events, including a Wednesday dedicated to the unfortunately named Krispy Kreme Klub. — Source

25

CRACKED CITIBANK Citibank made a mistake and accidentally sent $900 million to the wrong people, and the lenders refused to return the money. The lenders were taking advantage of the situation due to a longer running saga between them and Revlon, the company that borrowed the money. — Source

24

CRACKED SAMSUNG Samsung Securities Co CEO Koo Sung-hoon resigned after the company was punished by South Korea's financial regulator for an employee's error that sparked a $105 billion ghost stock blunder. The company was handed a six month partial suspension of its operations and its chief was suspended for three months. — Source

23

CRACKED BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO Deli BLOCKBUSTER John Antioco's arrogance in September 2000 cost Blockbuster its future when he refused to consider the possibility of buying Netflix for $50 million, which could have saved the company from its eventual bankruptcy in 2014. — Source

22

CRACKED NOKIA 3 def g 1 2 abc 4 b ghi mno 5 jkl 7 pqrs wx 8 tuv * ب 0 MICROSOFT Microsoft has wasted at least $8 billion on its failed Nokia experiment, and CEO Satya Nadella's vision for the company has shifted away from a devices and services focus, resulting in the end of Microsoft's mobile subsidiary. — Source

21

CRACKED Search Tumblr - Home t of Fandom Mones - tumblr. OPEN G4 17 No75 ..... SOUTH - What's New verson History 10g situal Thanks for choising Tumblr a place 6 connect North others over shared interests Preview YAHOO! In 2013, Yahoo acquired Tumblr for $1.1 billion, but the platform struggled to become profitable and was eventually sold to Automattic for $3 million in 2019. — Source

20

CRACKED Weinerville -Netscape 5 x File Edit View Go Communicator Help My N Back Forward Reload Home Search Netscape Print Security Stop Bookmarks Location: http://www.geocities. s.com/Heartland/Meadows/7322/ Welcome to Wienerville Where dachshunds will walk all over your heart YAHOO! Yahoo purchased Geocities in 1999 for over $4 billion, but the acquisition was ultimately unsuccessful and the site was shut down in 2009. — Source

19

Flavor Flav had many failed chicken joints. Не opened Flav's Fried Chicken in lowa in 2011, but it closed in four months due to bounced checks and bad business decisions. Не tried House of Flavor and Flavor Flav's Chicken & Ribs in 2012, and both restaurants were closed by July 2013. OHOKSH 2 CRACKED — Source

18

CRACKED No amount of muscle- shaped noodles could save Hulk Hogan's Pastamania. In 1995, Hogan opened one of what he advertised as a chain of food court pasta restaurants in Minnesota's Mall of America. Despite amazing menu options like Hulk-A-Roos, its flagship location didn't ANGEL even last a year. MANIA — Source

17

Eva Longoria's SHe was SHut down. In 2012, she opened SHe, a female-focused restaurant with smaller steaks and mirrors on the menu (to fix your makeup). SHe focused too much on the style and the South Nevada Health District shut it down for 21 health code violations in 2014. CRACKED — Source

16

Steven Spielberg served subs... in a sub! Get it? The highest-grossing director of all time opened two locations of Dive! (a submarine-themed sub sandwich restaurant). The over-priced, mediocre food saw them close within a few years. CRACKED — Source

15

Donald Trump's Exclusive Introduction worst TRUMP business idea STEAKS THE WORLD'S GREATEST STEAK ever (maybe). Trump Steaks were (for some reason) sold at the Sharper Image. Sharper Image CEO Jerry Levin called it a horrible business idea, saying, We literally sold almost no steaks. If we sold $50,000 worth of steaks in total, I'd be surprised. CRACKED — Source

14

CRACKED Burger King's #WTFF Promoting their new low fat french fry, ВК used the hashtag #WTFF for What The French Fry. That hashtag was already heavily used for What The F***ing F**k? and the fries got lost in the mix. — Source

13

GRACKED #McDStories To improve their image, McDonald's asked people to share McDonald's related stories. Pouncing on the opportunity, the Twittersphere shared thousands of stories involving slaughterhouses, food poisoning, and diabetes. Co. M The Saweetie Meal NGY M BBQ Sweetie CREW — Source

12

GRACKED #QantasLuxury Aussie airline Qantas asked customers to share their experiences just one day after the airline grounded their fleet and locked out staff over a union dispute. Disgruntled staff and customers used the hashtag to put them on blast. QANTAS ............ Spirit of Australia — Source

11

GRACKED #pokemonmastersex Pokémon Masters EX did use capitals in their original #PokemonMastersEX, but that didn't stop immature (and hilarious) fans from using it without the caps, or switching up the caps to #PokemonMasterSex. — Source

10

CRACKED #powergenitalia Powergen (UK's leading gas and electricity company) chose an unfortunate domain name for their Italian subsidiary. Powergen Italia really could've used some capitalisation. POWERGEN — Source

9

GRACKED #hobbitch When promoting The Hobbit in Switzerland, Swiss marketers unfortunately added CH (the country code for Switzerland) to the hashtag and other promo. — Source

8

CRACKED #RIMjobs BlackBerry maker Research In Motion advertised job vacancies on Twitter with #RIMJobs. No one opposed this in the boardroom? - RIM — Source

7

Coors accidentally marketed beer to their Spanish-speaking customers with the promise that they'd run to the toilet. THE ORIGINA LONGNECKS 12 Coog FL.OZ. il GOLDEN I BOCKY .... save The brewing company translated - - . - canada - - - Bampoor NATURAL NTAIN WATER FF their English catchphrase, Turn it loose, without realizing that it means Suffer from diarrhea in Spanish. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

In 1987, Braniff international released an ad that was easily confused for an open invitation into the mile-high club. BI TAK BRANIFF INTERNATIONAL BRANIFF 00000000000 The airline company was trying to entice travelers with its leather seats when a mixup of Spanish homophones turned its Fly in leather tag line into Fly naked. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Ford held a promotional campaign in Belgium with the bold promise that each car would come with a free zombie. Ford The ad was meant to say, Every car has a high quality body, but it was carelessly mistranslated into Every car has a high-quality corpse. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

Schweppes sold their Tonic Water in Italy without realizing that no self-respecting person would dare to drink it. INDIAN I Schweppes TONIC WATER The problem wasn't with the drink itself, but with the name Schweppes Tonic Water, which translated to Italian as Schweppes Toilet Water. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

When Colgate decided to sell toothpaste in France, they gave it a name that should've come with a parental advisory. Colgate® Their Cue toothpaste shared its name-which means ass- with a magazine that possibly documented other, um, oral-related matters. It was a porno mag. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

While expanding into China, Pepsi unknowingly made a creepy promise to consumers in the form of biblical miracles. TRADE PEPSI MARK The company's popular tag line, Come alive with the Pepsi Generation was interpreted as Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

The American Dairy Association's Got milk? campaign was such a hit that they decided to go international with it. YOUR MILK COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE AMERICAN DAIRY ASSOCIATION NORTH EAST The Spanish version was quickly discontinued, though, when they realized they'd been asking their audience the intrusive question, Are you lactating? CRACKED.COM — Source

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