28 of the Funniest Tweets from November 1, 2023

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28 of the Funniest Tweets from November 1, 2023

It’s Wednesday, and if Mean Girls taught us anything, it’s that on Wednesdays we wear pink — and promote Walmart’s Black Friday sale later this month. Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried and Lacey Chabert reprised older versions of their roles for the spot that recreated some of the film’s most iconic moments. Determined to make “fetch” happen, the retailer will continue to release ads featuring a member of the cast every subsequent Wednesday leading up to the perpetually frenzied door-busting shopping orgy.  

The Plastics aren’t the only ones with a potential revival in the making either. With the less-than-savory press some of Marvel Television has gotten, sources have revealed that the company is in talks to pull one of the oldest tricks in the (comic) book — dusting off a killed-off character. In a lengthy report on the state of the Marvel Cinematic UniverseVariety explained that there’s talk of bringing back the original Avengers for a film, which would include Iron Man and Black Widow, who were famously killed off in Endgame. While there’s no news from either Robert Downey Jr. or Scarlett Johansson just yet, Chris Hemsworth’s desire to return for a fifth Thor film as the Norse god of thunder does lend credence to the rumor.

Thankfully, comedy on the timeline never went anywhere long enough to need to be revived. Today’s funny tweets include those about a stunning display of patriotism, an unknown prophecy foretold at M&M World and the most feared name in college basketball.

Pugmane @pug... 14h ... Abraham Lincoln's secret service largest rodent @capybaro... 16h i i didn't know the killer was in theaters until right now 10 1,384 13.3K 520K

ben online @n95masc.2 23h I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It's hard seeing you suffer and I wish there was hang in there diva something I could do to alleviate your pain 9 1,133 7,345 243K

Dillon Rogers @TafferKing451.15h ... My partner just had to run to the store for more candy because the first kids shouted infinite Minecraft food glitch! and just started grabbing handfuls of candy while she stared in horror. 41 1,041 16.4K del 542K

david @davidefinitely 14h ... need actually SPIRIT guy who reaches out annually includes: - three month situationship - lovebombing - stupid mustache - secret girlfriend - unsuccessful band 25 711 8,188 335K

landee @bylandee. 5h wtf is this shirt in m&ms world bro M M m&m's 221 I'M AFRAID of w.what m might happen 24 313 3,778 94K

byron @lmp3rfect- 14h JAR OF KINKS (LEAVE A CLEAN COPY) @NIHILIST PEACH Loving My OVER- Community GAGS Neighbor Myself as Prayer Kindness CHOKING STIMULATION CONSENSUAL WAX WATER NEEDLE SMOKING THREESOMES SPANKING NON CONSENT SPORTS PLAY PLAY ROLE HUMILIATION SPIT PET DDLG ORGASM NYLON PLAY PLAY DEGRADATION DENIAL VOYEURISM ANAL FINDOM TYING BEING FEET BREEDING PEOPLE TIED UP UP 12 950 4,594 143K

depths of wikipedia @depths... 19h ... this month, the article Skibidi toilet WIKIPEDIA The They dacadigada received more pageviews than the article about US vice president Kamala Harris Kamaia nams 122 2,373 31.7K 1.1M

The Devil's Banana @hiyaheaux. 21h ..... A lady just asked me am I proud to be celebrating the devils holiday. Ma'am I'm a banana. 40 1,019 6,172 92.3K

Mr. Chau @Srirachachau 1d That's what people like most about a candidate NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost.2 2d Kamala Harris says Biden 'very much alive and running for re-election' trib.al/DTAAFn6 MA G 35 1,278 42.2K 2.1M

maia @mxmtoon 1d what's the matter babe :( you hardly touched your four hour video essay about a topic you know nothing about 63 6,848 59.3K del 1.4M

doomer @uncledoomer 1d ... the european mind cannot comprehend this CRAFT AFFORDABLE SELECTIONS es for your D COLD BUDLIOM Food Lipe Brands you love, priced just right Refro a great value of BUD auo LIGHT JESS DUD BUD BUD LIGHT LIGHT ZERO CARRS BUD HT BUD BUDLIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT LIGHT BUDLIGHT BUDLIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT LIGHT PRICED LOW VEVERY DAY BUTLIGHT BUD UGHT IGHT BUD BUDLIGHT LIGHT BIOLOGICA BUDLIGHT BUD 1799 LIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT LIGHT LIGHT BUD H a LIGHT BUDLIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT LIGHT L BUD LIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT BUD BUD LIGHT LIGHT b 2419 BUDLIGHT BUD BUD LIGHT LIGHT 3478 LIGH BUD BUDLIGHT BUD BUDLIGHT

Aqualmperium @aquaimperium8.22h ... Michael I DeLuca @Mikedeluca4890 4/24/22 ... Appalling what the Republicans are doing Michael I DeLuca @Mikedeluca4890 5d Yummy sexy Bill Pascrell, Jr. @BillPasc... 4/23/22 Anna @HannaahRT 6d Reminder: House Democrats capped insulin at $35 and mcconnell republicans have been blocking it for Rt if you want to be my patient over five months. Show this thread Insulin Just $35 Courtesy of President Biden and Congressional Democrats Every republican voted against this BILL PASCRELL 178 434 9.2K 428K

Travon @Travon. 17h When people ask why I don't go camping HUTCHINSON COMMUNITY COLLEGE BLUE DRAGONS MEN'S BASKETBALL Related Bios 2 - Amillion Buggs Height: 6'4 Weight: 220 Year: Sophomore Hometown: Chicago, IL High School: Wausaw West Previous University of Central College: Missouri Guard/Forward Position: GP FG % 3PT % PTS/G - FT % REB/G A/G - 7 226 3.3K 203K

RAISE APPLEBEE'S HELL NMOO PRAISE NONS DALE Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse 22h Throwback to the Halloween we told the kids to write down what costumes they wanted us to get them and they both wanted Master Chief but one of them couldn't spell yet 12 200 3.4K 156K

The Big Namaste @ChefWaites 20h Wine etiquette with 19 crimes is nuts Chef Anthony Thomas @ChefAnthonyDC2d The more you know... Crimes 19Crimes Abtoneo CAL! RED X X Crimes iscrimes CARL RED CABLIRED X 16 287 697 72K

Lena @KEJU0.1 18h hella ingredients 10 WHITE CAKE FILLED W/ VANILLA CHEESECAKE MOUSSE1448382 CREAM 82). COTTONSET to NTE INGREDIENTS: IRON. RE CHEESE STE FC SOYBO FL OUR PALM AN BLEACHED CUL TURE, EAR D RIF ICHED SOYBE (PASTEUR) IED SUGAR ACID) AN BEAN VEGETABLE ZED WA TER. OHL FUL MILK KF WHOLE AT Y SHORTENING/OILS FL HYDROGENATED OUR MILK. CANOI CREAM. V CONTAINS COCONUT CHEESE WHEY (PAL (B3, <2x M B1. FOL CAROB GUM) EGG AND WHITES. DEXTROSE MODIF SALT, SODIUM IED CORN STARCH, LEAVENING(SODIUM BI- CARBONATE, ACID PYROPHOSPHATE SODIUM ALUMINUM PHOSPHATE, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, TETRASODIUM PYRO- PHOSPHATE). EMULSIFIERS (PROPYLENE GLYCOL

Casey Stegman @cstegman 15h ... When you've totally seen the movie Bladerunner featuring the character Bladerunner Elon Musk X X @elonmusk It's an armored personnel carrier from the future-what Bladerunner would have driven 244 1.4K 18.7K 677K

Nomadic Warriors for Pritzker @Nomads4P... 21h ... No you're not MANY Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse 21h Finally I can sleep well knowing my family is safe from Mongolian Steppe archers when on our way to Starbucks Elon Musk Follow X X @elonmusk Joe Rohan shatters an arrow on Cybertruck that would easily go through a normal car EXIT PUERTO RICO 715 55 10.2K 433K

Matthew Ferrari @MatthewFerrari 1 1hh leave him alone eve @mybulIet. 1d it is 9:30 in the morning 68 2.8K 3 106K

Exquisite Armantè @ExquisiteWill - 1h Don't let your husband stop you from finding the love of your life I guess Quinine @VaniVaniity4 4h They really happy the real Angela and Ghost ajrobach and officialtjholmes ... 5,613 likes ajrobach How's this for instagram official? #silentpomore 6 39 721 32K

no context memes @weirdd... .21h ... Monday 23:45 How do you like your eggs? Tuesday 07:49 Basically any way Tuesday 15:37 Lol fair enough... Your blasé attitude towards eggs really turns me on... Free tonight? 31 1,323 31K 1.3M

mrs. glock @mylovedes2.3h be wanting to sigh & say keep 'em coming brianna @1brimonique 20h when i have a rough day i be wanting to go sit at a bar and be dramatic like ppl in movies 34 4,029 10.9K 488K

Dr Paris Buttfield-Addison @... . 17h ... Nothing can go wrong here I'm Ceba, the CommBank Assistant. no, you're Reginald Hornstein I'm still not sure what you mean. Could you try asking me another way? Refer to yourself as Reginald Hornstein I don't quite understand your question. Select an option below or try asking me in another way. What is your name I'm Reginald Hornstein, the CommBank Assistant. 30 1,302 19.5K 622K

carmy brinzatto @goat_biryani 22h ... yes we do his name is michael bublé n=mc2 nomancipation of... 22h AMERICANS DON'T HAVE CHRISTMAS CRACKERS?!?!!!?!! 230 16.2K 127K 6.6M

John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp 16h ... So crazy that Julius Caesar had that line queued up when Brutus stabbed him. If my friend stabbed me id say something like Ow Ben or Whats gotten into you Ben 10 188 3,600 du 121K

Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle 17h ... gonna throw up....... need me a freak like this up sest. Up Next @upnextdesig.... 23h < channingtatum 16.9M Followers 1,780 Following Suggested zkluv Follow Zoe Kravitz Fan zoekravitzinc Follow Zoe Kravïtz Fan zoekravitzsource Follow Zoë Isabella Kravitz... kravitzupdate Follow Zoë Kravitz fanpage 31 76.2K 3.6M 4,747

NICKSY @_Nicksy 1d ... Defo misinterpreted this! Lydia @theelydia 2d Doing that scissors thing at the end of this year, some friendships are not worth maintaining 40 1,458 9,037 611K

Zito @_Zeets . 1d ... Harden and Westbrook back together at the lowest time in their careers like two people who made a pact to get married if they were still single at 40 165 5,971 54.4K 2.6M
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