35 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Bill Burr has no tolerance for billionaires, but he might have a bit more patience for Karens.

As the internet attempts to hunt down “Phillies Karen,” a woman who forced a young boy to hand her a foul ball he caught at a recent baseball game, it appears she may have an unlikely ally in Burr, who revealed that he, too, isn’t a fan of handing children foul balls. “They don’t gotta work for anything!” Burr joked in an interview from 2014, recalling how he “had to fight adults” for foul balls throughout the ‘70s and ‘80s. 

Tom Hanks also decided to work harder for his success, and revealed how turning down a role on Fantasy Island in the early ‘80s taught him to be more selective while choosing gigs. “Somewhere in the middle of my career, there came a moment when I said, ‘I’m not going to play pussies anymore,’” Hanks recalled of the offer. “Up until then, I’d made a career out of playing ordinary guys who couldn’t figure out how things work.” 

Much like Hanks’ filmography, we took great care in selecting these hysterical tweets. Today’s funniest include those about Zillow browsing, buffet dilemmas and a very cursed midnight snack.