12 Slugs Share Their Deepest Hopes and Dreams

Even a lowly slug has larger dreams than melting in salt, despised.
See Their Name in the Broadway Lights

Shutterstock
“I can imagine it now… STARRING: A SLUG.”
Dunking A Basketball
Shutterstock
“Once I learn to gain momentum in any way, I’m nearly there.”
World Peace
Shutterstock
“Why can’t we all get along?”
World War
Shutterstock
“This world demands a cleansing fire.”
To Be Less Beautiful
Shutterstock
“I just want to be able to walk around the block without being mobbed by model agents looking for the face of their fall collection.”
A 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429 Fastback
Shutterstock
“And a stretch of open road to really let that baby purr.”
To Steal A Snail’s Shell and Join Their Ranks
Shutterstock
“If I can pry that sucker off, he’ll forever be demoted to our lowly status, while I’ll be living it up in Snail City!”
A Girlfriend
Shutterstock
“Not a slug either. I want a HUMAN girlfriend, I want her tall, and I want her to step on me!”
Escape Generational Poverty
Shutterstock
“This society exists to prop up the slugs born into upper-middle-class families’ gardens, and leaves behind those of us born behind a 7-Eleven dumpster.”
Get A Bit of That Sno-Cone
Shutterstock
“Just a lucky drop… I don’t know what that sweet blue is, but I know it would send papa to another plane entirely.”
A Complete Overhaul of the U.S. Office of Veteran Affairs
Shutterstock
“I fought for this country, and when I got back, they kicked me to the curb. Literally!”
???
Shutterstock
“What’s a slug? I’m a slug? What does that mean? Hello?”