Ranking the Names of Every Prescription Drug I’ve Been Advertised While Home at My Parents’ House

They all look like someone cheating at ‘Scrabble’

What do they cure? I couldnt tell you. Something that means you cant go to a garden party with a dumb hat on, I guess.

Wegovy

Horrible. Sounds like some sort of little bug that roots around in wet dirt.

Jardiance

Never great when a word seems like shorthand for “radiant jaundice.” 

Rinvoq

Sounds like a combo of “invoke” and “revoke,” which both have a fascist vibe. Also, ends with a Q which I find incredibly annoying. What do you think you are, coq au vin?

Dupixent

Sounds like something youd use to fix a cracked urinal.

Soytyktu

Oh, its absolutely inscrutable, but I applaud them for leaning into pure nonsense. Sotyktu Deucravacitinib is like a name from an abandoned science-fiction novel-in-progress youd find in a dead hoarders house.

Farxiga

Kinda looks like it has the word fart in it, and thats fun. Could also be Vera Farmigas last name if she went straight edge.

Tremfya

I think this is what Ness is yelling when you hit the B button in Super Smash Bros.?

Skyrizi

Sounds like some sort of forgotten floating city occupied by bird people. Surrounded by a cloaking device, and full of advanced technology.

Mounjaro

I can only assume this is an injection used to help you climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

Cymbalta

Sounds like some sort of Greek god of wisdom that plays a weird harp. Awesome.

Rybelsus

And Rybelsus sounds like Cymbaltas violent, war deity husband. Somebody known for choking out a mythical snake, or kicking off all nine of a hydras heads.

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