12 Chefs Weigh in on Their Favorite Type of Illegal Endangered Animal Meat

“Since it’s a guinea pig, I call it ‘Special South Catarina Pork’ on the menu. Then people get it, and they’re really upset. Not my problem at that point, though."

“You don’t evolve armored skin because you’re not delicious."

“Most people don’t want to eat something called a spiny rat. I’m still cooking them, though."

“If you don’t want to get cooked, try being faster, idiots."

“Ever since I first saw Knuckles the echidna in Sonic the Hedgehog as a kid, I knew I wanted to eat him.”

“I’m out to prove that just because food’s vegetarian, doesn’t mean it can’t be cruel!"

“They’re not endangered? Oh man. I’m getting egregiously overcharged.”

“At first, I was just cooking regular turtles. Then I realized, man, I really hate turtles.”

“As a home chef, I don’t always have access to the best endangered animals. That’s why I breed my own, which makes this a net positive, if you think about it.”

“Now it’s a real angel shark! That’s the joke I tell my customers. I think they like it, but I can’t read their faces because of the masks.”

“Ever seen one? They kind of look like an antelope with long, striped horns. And here is what they look like as a sandwich.”

There was a terrible mix-up and it came in their dad’s HelloFresh box. How were they supposed to know?