33 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Surprising absolutely no one, Marvel’s Blade is officially off of Disney’s release calendar. The oft-delayed, beleaguered reboot was slated to see the light of day in November 2025, but that’s no longer the case. Instead of Mahershala Ali’s fresh take on the vampirical antihero, Disney is set to release Predator: Badlands, which is the sixth installment of the extraterrestrial franchise. The new Blade has seen multiple directors and writers jump ship since it was first announced back in 2019. That said, like its titular vampire, it’s still proven difficult to kill altogether. 

Meanwhile, there’s someone else in Hollywood who is clocking in to work today — and he plans on doing so until his “voice box is laid out on an examination table somewhere.” While celebrating the upcoming 25th anniversary of SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star voice actor Bill Fagerbakke told Variety there’s nothing else he wants to do with his life but voice the bumbling starfish. Can you blame him? Fagerbakke has had job stability for a quarter century now, and been part of a character-driven spin-off that’s been renewed for two more seasons. And so, his voice box might end up as fodder for forensic pathologists after all. 

Given the amount of laughs it produces everyday, you’d think that the timeline’s full-time job was firing off insanely hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest include those about the seriousness of sandwich artistry, the perfect duo for the next season of True Detective and Nesquik’s coldest grail.