12 Ghosts and How I Think They Died
Look, they can’t all be spurned lovers.
Foul Ball
Right in the kisser.
Crushed By A Vending Machine
It’s terrifyingly common.
Self-Driving Car Crashed
Elon’s drinking glasses are in for a real good rattling.
Congestive Heart Failure
He shouldn’t be haunting his house, he should be hunting the Church’s Chicken down the road.
Light Fell on Him During One-Man Show
Don’t worry about figuring out his unfinished business, he’ll tell you all about it over the course of 50 minutes, including musical numbers.
Skateboarding
Well, he made Thrasher, but for all the wrong reasons.
Choked on A Meatball
He tries to be extra scary because he knows how lame that is.
Fell Down A Manhole
Why is he in the woods? I guess it smells better, but I didn’t know ghosts were allowed to move.
Killed By Another Ghost
They’re now haunting the same house, and it’s extremely awkward.
In His Sleep
The whole sheet thing makes him seems really scary, but he went surrounded by loved ones at 94. Not even sure why he’s so mad about it, to be honest.
Methicillin-Resistant Staph Infection
Trust me, you should be happy she chose to go with the ballerina theme and not “infected lesion.”
Not A Ghost
It’s just that neighbor’s kid being weird again. We all saw Nightmare Before Christmas, Nadine, some of us just didn’t make it our whole personality.