35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 13, 2024

The educators at Abbott Elementary are committed to the time-honored sitcom tradition of Halloween-themed episodes, but Lisa Ann Walter is ready to sing a different tune. During a PEOPLE-moderated pre-Emmys conversation, she pitched a musical episode of the hit sitcom and noted that “pretty much everybody (in the cast) can blow.” Walter quipped that former Broadway Dreamgirl Sheryl Lee Ralph “is not bad” and referenced William Stanford Davis’ time fronting a band to further prove her case. It’s definitely not a far-fetched idea, and should it ever come to fruition, I’m sure it would join It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s “Nightman Cometh” and Scrubs’ “My Musical” in the pantheon of great musical sitcom episodes.

While a musical episode of Abbott may happen one day, Martha Plimpton is here to tell you what’s not happening — a Goonies sequel. The actress took to Instagram to respond to news reports to the contrary, writing that “there is no Goonies 2 script, there is no one ‘attached,’ Spielberg is not directing” and “it’s not real.” Original Goonies member Corey Feldman took to Twitter and affirmed Plimpton’s post, explaining that he has “no info” that a sequel is in the works. 

There is something we have first-hand info of, though — the hysterical tweets rolling through the timeline. Today’s funniest include those about the state that refuses to escalate things, a secretive panini and far and away the best characters to select in a fighting game.