35 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Roastmaster extraordinaire Nikki Glaser will take to the Golden Globes stage this January to host the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s annual boozy awards show. Dick Clark Productions Chairman and CEO Jay Penske dubbed Glaser an “obvious” choice, thanks to her “fresh and unmatched candor.” The comedian lauded the ceremony for being a “huge night” for comedy and shared her hopes to join the likes of Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Ricky Gervais by delivering an opening monologue that might “get her canceled.” 

Meanwhile, Aubrey Plaza has yet to see her Golden Globe-nominated performance from the second season of The White Lotus. The Parks and Recreation actress told The Wall Street Journal that she had trouble logging in to Max because she “couldn’t figure out the password,” and gave up. Perhaps she’ll consider using a secure password manager to catch up ahead of the show’s Thailand-based third season, which is due out next year.

Thankfully, none of these tweeters forgot their passwords. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the signs of an advanced millennial, the thinking man’s Ozempic and a serious case of BPD.