33 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Move over Trey Parker and Matt Stone, there are new comedians-turned-novelty-restaurateurs in town. Two of Staten Island’s most famous exports since Tess McGill are one step closer in bringing nightlife to the Hudson River. Pete Davidson and Colin Jost have been hard at work turning a decommissioned ferry into the ultimate maritime dining, shopping and lodging experience. Once complete, the $34 million floating venue will boast an outdoor events space, two restaurants, two nightclubs and 24 hotel rooms as it criss-crosses between New York City and Miami.

Disney will also be taking to the high seas, as the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is officially getting a fresh coat of paint. According to Jerry Bruckheimer, the decision is partly creative and partly logistical, noting that a reboot is easier to accomplish because “you don’t have to wait for certain actors,” presumably referring to the likes of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. The news comes months after Margot Robbie announced that her female-led spin-off was no longer moving forward. Time will tell how the “weird” Craig Mazin and Ted Elliot script will be brought to the screen. 

As expected, the timeline is the true catch of the day with a new crop of hysterical tweets. Today’s funniest ones include those about the perfect chair to gab in, a skirt made for medical malpractice and a conversation starter for your gay co-workers.