The Best Jokes About Trump’s White House Rose Garden Renovation

No one was expecting Donald Trump to make the White House more beautiful. During his first term in office, Melania’s Christmas decor was frequently dubbed a “Hall of Nightmares,” and the man has a long history of building gaudy, garish buildings. But what Trump did to the White House’s Rose Garden is truly nasty, even by the Trump standard for interior design.

So what exactly did he do?  

He paved over the Rose Garden’s lawn and put grey and white stone over it, then put horrendous white metal tables and chairs on top of that. To finish the soul-sucking transformation from a space that was previously tended after by Jackie Kennedy, Trump put bright yellow umbrellas on each table. This “renovation” if it can be called that, follows Melania’s controversial change to the Jackie Onassis Rose Garden back in 2020. But nothing comes close to the horror of the most recent transformation. 

As many on X pointed out, the newly remade space looks almost exactly like Mar-a-Lago’s outdoor spaces. The yellow umbrellas are an exact match, down to the white stripes. All that’s missing are a few palm trees, and a swimming pool. Given that Trump already has plans to turn the East Wing of the home into a ballroom — a renovation project that’s expected to cost more than $200 million — we’re probably not done seeing hideous transformations of the White House. 

Many are pointing out that the scale of changes Trump is making to the White House suggests he doesn’t plan on leaving it in the next three and a half years. That’s certainly a troubling prospect — both for the sake of our democracy and because there’s a strong possibility the entire property will look like a mid-budget Florida hotel outside of the Disney World theme park grounds. 

But Mar-a-Lago isn’t the only comparison the Rose Garden makeover is drawing. That’s honestly the most flattering comparison. There’s been “patio that looks like Disneyworld cafeteria seating,” “glorified parking lot” and “Six Flags theme park.” One person wrote that Trump is like a reverse Midas, in that everything he touches turns to shit. 

Some other feedback from USA Today’s Instagram post about the garden:

• “Looks like a patio at a Holiday Inn Express.” 
• “This looks so tacky. This is not a gas station rest stop.”
• “Why do those look like orange peens?”
• “I think I got that exact patio set at Wal-Mart this summer!”
• “I’ve seen nicer patios at my local rec center. No color...no style…no class!”
• “I’ll take a cheeseburger with fries!”
• “Dementia patients like familiar things!!”
• “Looks like the pool area of an abandoned Motel 6.”

For someone who is so adverse to criticism, it’s hilarious that Trump has pissed off one of the most judgemental groups of people on earth: gardening enthusiasts. They have strong opinions on how far rose bushes should be spaced apart — so paving over a lawn in one of the most iconic gardens in the United States? There’ll be no end to the complaints about this. 

Our Congress might be doing nothing to check the power of the executive branch, but I have faith that subscribers to Homes & Gardens will be staging an intervention if any more greenery is removed from the property.